Seven years ago, when I first started working as a professor, I became intimately familiar with rejection at work. The academic publishing process is rigorous — you write a manuscript, submit it to a journal, and then wait anywhere from three to six months for a decision. My first three articles got rejected, and I felt defeated.
But rejection taught me something crucial that transformed not just my academic career, but how I help my coaching clients navigate career advancement: You can get rejections and still be doing amazing work, still be advancing, and still be thriving at work. The two things are not mutually exclusive.
If you’ve recently faced rejection in your career, whether you applied for a job externally or asked for a promotion internally, this post is for you. Because how you handle rejection at work will determine whether it becomes a stepping stone or a roadblock to your next-level role.
What I often see from women is that when they face rejection in their career, they internalize it. They start thinking they did something wrong or they’re not cut out for the promotion. They take rejection personally because they think, “I thought it was guaranteed. I’m qualified. I should have gotten it.”
Here’s what happens: What was once an objective situation starts to become an internalized identity. You start saying, “Because I got rejected, I must not be good enough. I must not be ready to advance into a director or higher level. I must not have what it takes.“
Once you start to internalize rejection, game over. It’s going to become the thing that holds you back from ever trying again.
Here’s something you need to understand: Rejection is not a statement of your worth; it’s just someone else’s opinion. You will never fully know why you were rejected.
I’ve been on multiple hiring committees over my career, and every time we’ve turned somebody down, we’ve never given them the whole reason. By the time we get to interviewing, usually everyone is qualified for the job and rejection just comes down to other extraneous factors.
Sometimes rejection at work happens because:
But will they say that in the rejection letter? No. They usually just say something generic like: “We found a more qualified candidate.”
You could literally get rejected because someone was always going to hire their kid, so you never had a real chance. So here you are beating yourself up thinking you weren’t good enough; meanwhile, you literally never had a chance.
Remember this: Rejection is somebody else’s personal opinion. It is not a fact about you, your worth, your skills, or your value. You can get rejected and still be excellent, highly qualified, and very valuable.
After rejection, it’s easy to want to hide and protect yourself from future disappointment. You end up in a vicious cycle where you stop applying for higher-level jobs, lose visibility in your company or field, and reinforce the idea that you’re not ready for leadership.
But here’s the thing: Good leaders know how to pivot from rejection. If you’re trying to get promoted into a director or higher level, you need to have a leadership mindset. If you cannot handle rejection in your job search, how are you going to handle deals getting rejected as a leader? Vendors canceling contracts? Clients firing your company? Team members quitting?
You have to build up the skillset of navigating rejections now. You have to learn to start seeing rejection as a neutral event that you can pivot and learn from, and not tying it to your worth.
When you’re applying for a job, you’re asking somebody for something. When you ask anybody for anything, even God, there are really only three answers you’re going to get: Yes, no, or not yet.
All three of those are valid and valuable answers. Which means that no is a valid response to your ask. We’re not entitled to the job just because we’re qualified for it.
Your job after a rejection is to move on and go find somebody who’s going to say yes to you. So how do you handle rejection?
Now let me share with you how to handle rejection strategically so it doesn’t derail your career advancement.
Most rejection decisions aren’t about whether you’re good enough. They’re about alignment with business outcomes, timing, and internal relationship dynamics.
When I get a rejection for my research manuscripts, I’ve learned to close the email immediately without reading the feedback. Why? Because I know that in that moment, I’m emotional. I feel hurt, sad, angry, upset. Something can feel personal without you having to act on that feeling.
I go about my day, and then maybe three days later, I come back and read the email. Now that I’m removed from the initial emotion, it’s just neutral data. I can see what feedback is helpful, rewrite the manuscript, reposition it for a different journal, and submit it elsewhere. Almost every time I do that, it gets accepted.
Job searching and getting promoted work the same way. Step back from the rejection, think about your approach, and ask yourself: How can I shift my strategy for the next time?
How to gather useful data from rejection:
Remember: Rejection is a neutral event. You attach goodness or badness to it, and that attachment will determine how you move forward.
This is especially important if you’re trying to land an internal promotion. The mistake most people make after rejection is pulling back. They stop showing up, stop trying, somehow thinking they’re going to “show them.”
But you’re just playing yourself. If you truly want more income, impact, and influence in your career, and you’re committed to getting it internally, then you have to do the work to make it happen.
When you pull back from trying, you reduce your visibility and lower your chances of being considered for the next opening. Leaders might think you’re not interested anymore, or they might see how you handle rejection as a sign that you’re not ready for promotion.
How to stay visible after rejection:
Side note – My philosophy on internal rejections: If they say no twice, it’s time to move externally. The first time, ask for feedback and improve. If they reject you again after you’ve done what they asked, that’s a red flag. They’re showing you they don’t value you.
If you’re going external after internal rejection: Use that feedback to highlight exactly what they said you were missing. Show your leadership experience, decision-making abilities, and business impact.
This one is specifically for Christian women. Sometimes we over spiritualize rejection as meaning God is closing the door entirely, when He might just be positioning you for the right opportunity.
One of my philosophies is: If it doesn’t work out, it’s not where God wanted me to be. If it works out, it’s where the Lord wanted me to be.
Trusting that God has something better doesn’t mean you should stop trying entirely. It might just mean that company was wrong, that timing was wrong, but the role might still be right.
Faith means:
But you have to stay in motion. I believe firmly that God wants us to participate in the process of our miracles. Think about Jesus’s first miracle: before He turned water into wine, He told them to fill the jars with water first. They had to take that first step of obedience and stay in motion.
When you stop entirely after rejection, it’s like you don’t believe that the Lord who brought you this far won’t leave you alone. Your continued positioning and applications show that you believe He’s still going to show up.
If you’ve been rejected multiple times, here’s what I want you to understand about rejection at work:
If you’re getting external interviews: Multiple rejections actually mean you’re already positioned as a high-level candidate. You wouldn’t be getting interviews if you weren’t seen as capable. You just need to improve your interview skills.
If you’re not getting to interview level: Your positioning is off. You’re not communicating your value effectively in your applications. You need to enhance your leadership positioning.
If they keep saying no internally: Girl, it’s time to go. Stop trying to prove yourself to people who don’t value you.
When you’re trying to land a director or higher-level role, it’s all about impact and visibility. That’s it.
You need to:
If you’ve been rejected multiple times, audit your approach and relationships. Usually, you’ll find that’s where the gap is. When you fix one of those, you’re going to get promoted.
Don’t let rejection derail your career goals. Instead:
Remember: If you have a goal to land a higher-level role, you don’t stop trying until you hit it. You keep changing your strategy and doing what you need to do.
Rejection is not a sign to stop, it’s a sign to shift your strategy, shift your approach, and keep going.
Ready to turn rejection into your comeback story? Listen to my free private audio training series, “Advance to Your Next Level Job” where I share my complete framework for handling career setbacks and landing promotions with significant salary increases. Get instant access here.
Q: How long should I wait before applying again after a rejection? A: If it’s external, you can apply to other companies immediately. If it’s internal, ask for feedback, improve based on that feedback, and apply for the next relevant opening.
Q: Should I ask for feedback after every rejection? A: Yes, especially for director-level and higher positions. The candidate pool is smaller, and they’re more likely to provide useful feedback.
Q: How do I know if it’s time to look externally after internal rejections? A: After two rejections internally, especially if you’ve improved based on their feedback. At that point, they’re showing you they don’t value you properly.
Q: How do I handle rejection without taking it personally? A: Remember that you’ll never know the full reason for rejection. It’s someone else’s opinion, not a fact about your worth. Treat it as neutral data to improve your approach.
Tags
Are you a qualified woman who keeps missing internal promotions despite your experience and capabilities? You’ve been at your company for eight years, consistently delivering high-quality work, taking on more responsibility, and stepping into leadership-level projects. You’ve asked to get promoted multiple times, but nothing has changed. You’re likely facing a systemic issue that requires
Read MoreLooking for a $50K salary increase through an external move? If you’ve been working at the same company for years, consistently exceeding expectations, yet still earning far less than you’re worth, it’s time to face a hard truth: getting significant salary increase (we’re talking $20K, $30K, or even $50K more), is probably not going to
Read More