Are you currently in a job that you no longer find fulfilling, is no longer serving you to reach your career goals, but you're still in that, job and you have absolutely no clue why exactly you're still there? In this blog post, I share the 7 things that just might be keeping you stuck in a job you hate.
If right now you are in a job that you know is unfulfilling, where you're feeling:
And you know that this job is not right for you and that you need to be doing something else, but 1) you have no idea what something else is, and 2) you're still there, and sometimes you wake up, and you're like, "Why am I still at this job?"
Maybe you've tried to leave before, but they gave you a promotion or extra benefits, and that kept you there. There are likely 7 things that's keeping you stuck in an unfulfilling career.
The first thing that is likely keeping you stuck in that job that you hate is that you are comfortable in your current situation.
Here's the thing, just because you hate something doesn't mean that you're not comfortable in the discomfort of that hate. Just because you're unhappy doesn't mean that you are not comfortable being unhappy in that situation.
When you are doing a job that you've been doing for a long time, even when you don't like it, you are used to it.
You are comfortable with the amount of work that's expected of you.
You know:
So even though it's uncomfortable and you’re unhappy, unmotivated, disengaged at work, or not paid a value-aligned salary – even though all those things are happening, there's still a level of comfort because you've been there for so long.
And sometimes, you don’t know how unhappy you are in that job or how much it’s costing you until you’re in an aligned situation.
When you know what a fulfilling career is meant to look like, what it feels like to be engaged in your work. When you understand what it feels like to be genuinely enjoying the work, to be enthralled by the work, to have moments of flow, you start seeing how different life can be when you’re happy at work.
It's like, "Whoa, this is what it feels like to like what I do!" and it's hard to ever get in that space when you're comfortable in your discomfort.
The second thing that’s keeping you stuck in a job you hate is lack of confidence in yourself.
You're not confident in your ability to make career decisions, because you might not be confident with the outcome. So, you're thinking, "What if I change jobs, and I hate the new job I end up in?" or something like, "What if I do something else, and it's just as bad as this one that I'm doing right now? I'm going to waste time!"
You're not confident that you can actually go through the process of a career transition and end up in a career that you genuinely enjoy.
That lack of confidence then keeps you from taking action.
Because you're not confident that you have the skills it takes to transition to a role that you like, that will keep you stuck in that job that you hate.
It's like, "I know I want something else, but I don't know that I'm going to get it. I don't know if I can do it. I don't know what's going to happen! So... I'm just going to stick it out! I'm going to stay here because at least I know my level of efficacy where I am because I'm confident in my ability to at least go through the motions where I am now," which goes back to number one, where you just lean into your comfort zone.
The third thing that is likely keeping you stuck in that job that you hate is stability.
The stability of the job that you hate is keeping you there. I can't tell you how many times I heard women (or at least the women I worked with) say that they’re in that job because their job is stable.
It's like, "I have a stable job. Why would I leave a stable job?" or sometimes it's not coming from you, but it's other people saying, "Girl, why would you leave a stable job? You have a good job! Why would you leave that? Girl, you get paid. You have job security!"
Here's the thing: stability is a myth.
You're staying in that job that's stable, but they could literally fire you tomorrow without a heads up. So, how stable is it really? How stable is the job that could let you go tomorrow? And it might not be because you're not doing your job well.
They could just be downsizing, have a change in leadership, reconsolidating, or they could be going through a reorganization that happens to eliminate the need for your role.
But again, you literally could get fired tomorrow or in two weeks without heads up.
So... Is it really stable? Or you're saying it's stable but you’re unfulfilled, and what we know (well at least what I keep sharing with you!) from the research is that when you're in an unfulfilling career, and you're experiencing high levels of work stress, it impacts your mental and physical health.
You are experiencing:
In addition to that, your relationships are suffering because you might get more impatient. You'll probably argue more. You might also have a lower sex drive, which then could lead to higher divorce rates.
So, while you're in that "stable job", it's costing you your mental and physical health, and relationships. It's costing you your joy, peace, confidence, and life satisfaction. So... is the stability really worth it?
If you're staying because of the security, I’m telling you now that it’s not secure. It's only secure because you've told yourself that it is, but they really could let you go tomorrow.
So, I'm calling BS on security.
The fourth thing that is likely keeping you stuck in that job that you hate is a fear of the job search process. This one is valid!
Honestly, I understand all these fears I’ve shared so far.
When I think about this fear of the job search process, I'll be the first one to tell you that job searching can be stressful. Job searching can be hard. It can be overwhelming because there's so many parts that go into it. You have to:
And that’s not even the whole detailed process. There’s a lot more to do and consider when you’re in the job search process, but you don’t have to fear it.
What I know from the fear of the job search process is that it usually comes in when 1) you don't have a good, clear, solid strategy for your job search, and 2) you don't have the right mindset going into your job search.
The fear of the job search process comes in when you don't have strategy and mindset, because while yes, it can be a lot, it can also be fun.
And I know you just like side eyed (😒) me hardcore, like, wait Tega, you said job searching can be FUN?
YES!
Eight years ago, I was on the job search job market and that one was raggedy! This was before I became a career counselor and coach.
So going back, eight years ago, I kid you not, I did what I tell you not to do now because I know how messed up it is! I probably applied to like 50 jobs, and I got like two interviews!
And only one got back to me, and that's the job I got. Fast forward to four years ago, I went into the job search process again, but during that time, I enjoyed it.
I only applied for ten jobs, but I got six interviews. I probably would've gotten more, but I only got six because I got off the market after accepting an offer. Of those six, I got three offers.
So, what was the difference between those two job search processes from eight and four years ago? It's my mindset and my strategy. I was super clear about what I was looking for.
I wasn't doing the "spray and pray" method of just throwing my resume out there, which I did the first time I was job searching... which was, again, terrible! Instead, I went in being super clear, not only about what I wanted but about who I was and the value I was bringing to any organization. I went into the interviews being like, "I know y'all want me because I'm dope AF! Yes, you're interviewing me, but I'm interviewing you too!"
I did not apply for any job in any city that I knew for a fact I did not want to move to. I was very clear, very targeted, and very precise about that process, and I actually enjoyed it while negotiating a value-aligned salary for myself.
I'm not special... I mean, yes, I'm special because I'm a child of God, but you are special too. You just have to go into the job search process with the right mindset.
A lot of times, when you're going into the job search without the right mindset, you go in so haphazard. You go in almost desperate, like looking to take anything that comes your way. You’ll end up not negotiating and leaving money on the table. And when you're going into the interviews not showing your full authentic self, you'll probably get into the wrong environment, and it's because you don't have the right mindset and strategy.
And because of all that, you're going to be like, "You know what? I'm not even going to job search because I applied multiple times. I didn't hear back. This process is stressful. It's overwhelming. So, I'm not even going to bother."
As a result, you'll stay in that job that you hate.
The fifth thing that keeps you stuck in that job you hate is either depression or a lack of energy... or maybe a combination of both.
When you have reached the state of just feeling absolutely depressed because of the work environment that you're in right now that there's this lack of energy that has seeped in, it's honestly a vicious cycle.
It's a vicious cycle because you can't wait until you have the energy to try to leave because the work is the reason why you don't have energy. The job is the reason why you're feeling depressed. It's the reason why you feel so lackluster and why you don't believe and have confidence in yourself.
You might feel those ways because the work you're doing is not aligned with your high-power skills. Which means you're constantly in a state of doubting yourself.
You're constantly in a state of not thinking you're good enough. You're feeling like, "Do I know what I'm doing? Do I have the skills to do what I'm doing? I'm not good enough. I don't have what it takes!”
And when you're in environments where you don't feel seen, validated, valued, and you're operating out of your zone of genius for too long, your negative self-talk gets so loud and overwhelming that you are now the one telling yourself you can't do anything else.
Over time, that mindset is beating you down over and over and over again. That's what's leading to that lack of energy. It's draining you.
You're spending so much energy just trying to survive in a workplace that's draining you that you don't have energy for anything else. It's making you not enjoy life or even want to enjoy life. And so, if you keep saying, "I'm going to wait until I leave to find something better" or "I'm going to wait until I have energy and feel better to find a better career," how sway?
If the environment you're in is the reason why you don't feel good, when and how are you going to feel better if you're still in that environment?
If the environment you're in is the reason why you don't feel good, when and how are you going to feel better if you're still in that environment? Share on XI mean, yes, there are some things you can do, some small mindset shifts you can do to change your outlook in the environment to change how you're approaching the environment, but you’re going to be hard pressed to see dramatic change/increase in energy and outlook in life without that change in environment.
And so, that depression or lack of energy is keeping you stuck, and you're telling yourself, "I'm going to wait till I feel better," doesn't make sense. Because again, you're not going to feel better until you leave.
I know you don't like the work that you're doing, but you might like your friends at work. You like to kiki with them, have lunch dates and happy hours, and like to talk and connect with them. Maybe you have a work BFF/bestie you’re always with.
And so, you're like, "If I leave this job, I'm going to leave all these great connections that I've made these great relationships. I don't want to leave this job because I've made such great friends, and I like the people, okay? The people are not the problem. I actually really enjoy the people, but it's just the work. I hate the work!"
So yes, you've built the relationships, which I'm not downplaying because relationships are really important, but let's not forget that at the same time, you're miserable.
Now, try to weigh this in: relationships VS your mental health and physical health. You're the only one who can answer that.
Listen, relationships are great because they're pretty much serving as a protective factor for you. The relationships probably helped you stay in that job up until this point, and so they've kept you this far.
But, the relationships will only get you so far.
The more you're working in a workplace that is overall toxic, or you're doing work that doesn't motivate you, align with your high-power skills, or you’re not interested in, the more that it's going to outweigh your relationships.
You see, the disengagement and lack of motivation at work, as I said earlier, will be reasons that you'll start to doubt yourself. You'll doubt your competence, skills, and knowledge.
And so, over time, it's going to get to you. So, I'm asking you the question again: which is more important, your relationship or your health? And I invite you to reflect on that because right now, those relationships are keeping you in a job that you hate.
But how long can you survive that?
And also, are you assuming that you will lose the relationships without actually even trying to leave? Just because you met them at work doesn't mean you're only friends with them at work. You have the option to call, text, or connect with each other online outside of work. You can still go to dinner outside of work.
The final thing that is likely keeping you stuck in that job that you hate is familiarity with your current environment. And this is similar to number one, where I talked about comfort.
But the difference is that usually, with this familiarity comes a false sense of loyalty; you feel you have to be loyal to the organization.
It's like maybe you're saying to yourself, "I don't like this job, but I've been with them for so long. Like how will they replace me?" or something like, "They gave me a promotion, and I got a great bonus. I just feel like I would be betraying them if I leave," and I'm like, sis, you don't owe any company loyalty at all.
Why? Because 1) this is a bit morbid, but if you die tomorrow, they will replace you before you can say good morning. In two weeks flat, somebody else is doing your job. They might miss you, but somebody else is doing your job.
And 2) You are the CEO of your career. This means that your job is to be looking out for knowledge, skills, and opportunities that advance your career, not an organization. And if the next opportunity that advances your career happens to be with a different organization, then so be it!
These companies aren't loyal to you. I get that you might be in a great company where they have great benefits and awesome work culture, etc. But when you hate the job and you're no longer feeling motivated and inspired, and you feel like the work you're doing is not serving the purpose of advancing your career anymore, it's time to go.
I promise you they will be alright! These companies will be fine. Your job is not to be loyal to any company.
Here's the thing, if you're community-driven, or you're very much big on the good of the order of the group, one thing I want you to know is that when you step into your role as the CEO of your career when you are doing what it takes to advance your career, what happens is that you end up being fulfilled in your career.
When you are fulfilled, you show up in the world as your best self, you show up in excellence. And when that happens, everybody benefits, including the organization.
When you are fulfilled, you show up in the world as your best self, you show up in excellence. Share on XSo right now, you're staying in that organization in that job you no longer like because you're trying to be loyal. You’re actually NOT showing up in excellence. You're giving them a half-assed version of you. Why? You're doing them a disservice right now.
You could always go somewhere else and show up in excellence and confidence as an expert and actually serve the organization to the best of your ability because you enjoy the work and the space that you are in.
Do you see the difference?
I want you to consider whether loyalty serves you or the organization.
There you have it, the seven things that are likely keeping you stuck in that job you hate. Did any of those resonate? If yes, check out this free training that walks you through a framework to help you overcome these and step into an aligned career.
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